Under pressure, whether in your job, or with family, or with friends, in your personal relationship, or with finances, feeling under pressure can be a very overwhelming feeling, especially if you feel under pressure in all of these areas!
One of the biggest pressures I have noticed that I feel, is responding to text messages and WhatsApp messages, phonecalls and voicemails, emails and instagram messages, facebook messages and tweets.
Digital contact as we know, is instant.
Unlike the days of just knocking on a friends door, waiting for them to get ready, meeting someone somewhere and trusting they’d just arrive.
Digital contact is overwhelming, because we feel the pressure to respond instaneously. Especially with apps showing when someone has apparently ‘seen’ it, or if they’re apparently ‘online’. We can then feel disheartened, or ignored if we do not get an automatic response. I know all to well, because i’ve done it.
‘expectant of someones time’.. someone once said to me…but who are we to expect?
Expectations, what are they?
Every single human is unique. Whether raised by a straight Mum and Dad, 2 lesbian women, foster parents or in a care home, we each have an experience of an upbringing. Expectations will come either way and everyone expects different things. That doesn’t make anyone right or wrong, they are expecting, based on their experience of life.
It seems to me, based on my own experience, is that expectations are formed by our priorities. Let me elaborate…
If your priority in life is making money, you’ll mostly focus on activities revolving around earning money, investing money and or saving money, in turn, you will have certain expectations on how and what you spend your money on.
It is then very likely, that your expectations of others, is probably to do the same and when someones priorities or expectations do not mirror yours, you may think they are ‘wrong’ or ‘weird’.
This can cause conflict and i’d say, you would be fighting a losing battle if you were expectant of others to have the same priorities/expectations as you.
Remember, everyone has a different experience of life, embrace uniqueness.
Priorities and therefore expectations though, can change. As we experience life, we grow and as we grow, we require different needs.
For example, a 3 month old baby, requires milk to grow, if you feed that 3 month old baby solid steak and chips, it wouldn’t go down too well. The same as feeding a 33 year old purely milk, wouldn’t go down too well either.
Let me explain how priorities/ expectations can be formed; if someone is raised all their life, being told that money is the answer to a happy life, that someone will probably go about their life earning money, investing money, saving money in order to accumulate more money.
On the other hand, if someone is raised all their life, being told that spending time with the people you love is the answer to a happy life, that someone will probably work less hours to achieve this, they may not even bother to get a job at all…
Neither of these situations is right or wrong.
They’re formed by someones upbringing.
Again, these outlooks on life can change, dependant of your life experience. If you stay living with said parents/guardians all your life, you will not know much different.
However, if you take the time to go off ALONE without said parents/guardians, you are able to form your own priorities/expectations based on your own life experience.
Expectations are totally okay to have, the issue, is expecting others to have the same as you.
Next time someone doesn’t respond straight away, they read without responding, or they post something to social media without replying to you, it may appear that at that moment in time, they have other priorities.
Do not expect to be someones priority. Do not judge someone for their priorities.
When I was in Australia, I thought I was in love with a guy, I was obsessed with him, then one day, a Brazilian girl said to me something along the lines of the Buddha; love is like a flower, “When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily.”
If you can take 1 thing from this blog, learn to water, rather than to extract,
‘Stress Less, Relax To The Max’ Ltd